Guilt, Or when you know you haven’t done enough

“I really admire your ability to write so much every day.  I know I couldn’t do that/ I don’t have the time/ I wish I could do that…”

How many times have I heard the different variations of that and thought, I’ve not done as much as you think.

And then the guilt sets in.  Tonight I shall do more, I vow.  I’ll employ my best tactics; reserve treats until I’ve got something down, turn off all distractions (phones, T.V etc).  I’ll create a space for myself, time alone.

It works, for a couple of days. But then I’ll say to myself, don’t forget to blog or, don’t forget to work on the piece for the writers’ group.  So I’ll concentrate on that before it too fizzles out. Then I’m back to square one, again.  What have I done to tackle it?  The current answer is to break it up into bite-sized chunks throughout the evening. Is it working?  I’ll let you know when I’ve got around to implementing it.

The Art of Thinking

What is it about thinking I love so much?  Is it the random realms of fantasy I can disappear into? Is it the habit of leapfrogging from one to another in a blink of an eye?  Maybe its because it gives me a chance to review the past and attempt to figure out the future.  Far more likely is that it is all of these things.

It’s not easy having a butterfly mind.  It took a lot of training to do this, you know.  Well, that’s what I like to tell myself, anyway.  I guess its to stop me from thinking too much.  If I did that I’d never get anything done.  I have plans you know, for this precious time of mine.

Pieces of writing need to be worked on.  Books need to be read.  These things can’t happen without my input.  Can you imagine what it would be like if none of my poor books got read?  No Rincewind, no Tyrone Slothrop, not even the Illustrated Man.  Goodness me, life without those would be very boring.

So I must stop thinking and start doing.  Perhaps I should put some effort into what I’m doing this weekend.  You can never plan too much, right?  Don’t want to find myself on the wrong road, do I?

Am I procrastinating when it comes to thinking?  Not when its productive, it isn’t.  The next question is, but how often is it productive?  Well I don’t know, I’ve never really thought about it, I’ve been too busy….